SmartAss Logo


September 2012: Carol Harding, Toronto, Canada
1. Amazon 2. Nile 3. Yangtze 4.Colorado 5. Thames

August 2012: Irene Arvayo, Bullhead City, AZ
1. Waltz 2. Tango 3. Hip Hop 4. Cha Cha 5. Polka

July 2012: Kaleigh Cummings, Naugatuck, CT
1. Man o'War 2. Seabiscuit 3. Secretariat 4. Affirmed 5. Citation

June 2012: Guy Potter, Laughlin, NV
1. Daisy 2. Lily 3. Pansy 4. Tulip 5. Rose

May 2012: Crystal Palomeque, Raleigh, NC
1. Pepsi 2. Dr. Pepper 3. Mountain Dew 4. 7UP 5. Sprite

April 2012: Brian Wolfe, Ridgecrest, CA
1. Merlot 2.Chardonnay 3.Cabernet Sauvignon 4. Chenin Blanc 5.Riesling

March 2012: Lauren Gesse, Bullhead City, AZ
1. Bluejay 2. Robin 3. Crow 4. Roadrunner 5. Eagle

February 2012: Cathy Loria, Middle Island, NY
1. Pistachio 2. Macadamia 3. Pecan 4. Cashew 5. Almond

January 2012 : Gary Hoskins, Laughlin, NV
1. Rib Eye 2. Porterhouse 3. Filet Mignon 4. T-Bone 5. NY Strip

December 2011: Barbara Patrick, Cape Coral, Fl
1. Feta 2. Gorgonzola 3. Provolone 4. Limburger 5. Swiss

November 2011: Cristina Mori, Palm Coast, Fl
1. Chihuahua 2. Scottie 3. Collie 4. Jack Russell 5. Poodle

October 2011: Terrill Johnson, Philadelphia, PA
1. Cherry Bomb 2. Roman Candle 3. Bottle Rocket 4. M80 5. Sparkler

September 2011: Kyle Burgess, Holdenville, OK
1. Great White 2. Mako 3. Hammerhead 4. Tiger 5. Bull

August 2011: Kathleen Cavonis, Wilmington, NC
1. Fuzzy Navel 2.Harvey Wallbanger 3. Brandy Alexander 4. Mudslide 5. Margarita

July 2011: Ronda Inman, Shallotte, NC
1.Albany 2. Sacramento 3. Atlanta 4. Phoenix 5. Nashville

June 2011: Lisa Montalbano, Elmont, NY
1. Royal Flush 2. Full House 3.Two Pair 4.4 of a Kind 5.Straight

May 2011: Petro Vermeulen, Ugie, South Africa

1. Siamese 2. Burmese 3. Angora 4.Calico 5.Tabby

Apr 2011: Ella Newcastle - Disqualified for being fictitious name

1. Saguaro 2. Ocotillo 3. Prickly Pear 4. Barrel 5. Cholla

Mar 2011: Debra Affrunti , Islip, NY

1.Picasso 2. Rembrandt 3.Renoir 4.Van Gogh 5. Monet

Feb 2011: Erika Johnson, Bullhead City, AZ

Ronda Inman, Shallotte, NC – special consolation prize

1.Aardvark 2.Platypus 3.Armadillo 4.Marmoset 5. Sloth

Monthly Clues Contest Rules:

1.Throughout each month ..5 topic related clues will be announced by the Donkey..for example: Buick - Pontiac- Chevy- Oldsmobile- Cadillac. Be first to collect and email all 5 Clues to and you will win $100 payable by either Paypal or a Walmart Gift Card…you're choice. The time and date on the email will determine who is first.

2. Winning and accepting payment gives SmartAss.Com the right to publish your name and City in our Winner's List.

3. Winner must enter contest using their real name. No fictitious or screen names accepted.

4. To prevent any one person from dominating the contest, winners will be limited to winning once every other month. Using confederates or team play to circumvent this rule will result in you being prohibited from further participation in any of our contests.

5.. Management reserves the right to cancel or modify this contest or any promotion at any time. It is the player's responsibility to check this page often for any changes or updates. ***

SmartAss Comment Submissions

Send us your SmartAss Comments ..If we decide to us one ..we will send you a $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card. Send them to


Starting June 3, 2011 instead of a contest with a deadline…Website users are encouraged to send in a SmartAss Comment at any time . If selected to be used and posted to our Talking Donkey, SmartAss will pay a bounty of $25.00. Due to the volume of submissions, users will only be notified if their submission is chosen. Once paid, the submission will become the property of SmartAss.Com to be used or not used at our sole discretion. At the present time there is no limit on the amount of submissions any one person can submit.. Please note that rules 2, 3 and 5 from above apply. Send your SmartAss Comments to :

Previous Winners:

From February 2011 to May 31, 2011, SmartAss ran a SmartAss Comments Contest. The winning entry received a prize of $250. The winner was Mike McArthur of Cypress, TX :for "Any DumbAss can search the net, but it takes a SmartAss to help you find what you are looking for." 5 Honorable Mentions received $10 each. Lori Garza of Saint Cloud, Fl: "I'm about 1001 things and bullshit isn't one of them", Ed Harlovic of Jensen Beach, Fl "Spread your wings and Flail", Christy Higgins of Hoagland, IN: "My train of thought just collided with a shortbus", Michael L Rockwell of Danville, Va: "Teach a kid to Lie – take him fishing" and Richard Hansen of Green Cove Springs, Fl: "I had my say and they had their say. In the end no one had anything to say".